Preface: I am still doing this Slice of Life March challenge from Two Writing Teachers--despite the fact that this is only my 3rd blog and it's March 7th.
I have decided not to malign myself for not being able to write daily. I think about writing daily, but when my toddler wants me to dance with her to We Don't Talk About Bruno or my teenager wants to ask me a philosophical question about life, I will give them my time. And, I will write when I can.
I saw this quote today:
I saw it and had to catch my breath. Stunning, isn't it? It is transformative when you being to discern that, to understand what love really is, we have to understand what it isn't. I liken this to teaching. It took a while, as a teacher, for me to understand what good teaching really was. I had to try lots of things that didn't work first.
Understanding many things in the world requires us to first understand what said thing isn't. The distinction for love, I think, is that, unlike most other things, to understand what love really is, we must first be broken by what it isn't. In the breaking, in the filling in of the crevices caused by pain and disappointment, we discover what we will and won't accept. It is there that we find love.
We find love after we have allowed ourselves to be dismissed and we realize we are truly worth the investment of someone's time. We find love after we chase and follow with desperation only to discover that chasing isn't part of love. We find love after our confidence is bruised by harshness and we come to understand that we deserve kindness and a soft place to land.
I have my share of failed loves. I know, at times, my marital history has been a thing folks have laughed about. But, I am no longer ashamed of my bumpy path toward love. The journey has led me to a place where I have discovered that real love is about loving yourself enough to accept the love you deserve.
THanks for this post. Keep writing, don't beat yourself up for not. I think you are absolutely right. In order to figure out what something is, we have to learn from the mistakes we make, from what that thing really is not.
ReplyDeleteSo honest and true! We usually need to see what something isn't to understand what it is and recognize it. Keep writing and keep dancing and talking with your children!
ReplyDeleteTHIS: "In the breaking, in the filling in of the crevices caused by pain and disappointment, we discover what we will and won't accept." You have so beautifully articulated this life lesson in 'becoming', growing into ourselves. Thank you for this wisdom. I am going to bookmark this to read again, as well as share it with a friend who is experiencing bumps in her path. <3
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I am so glad you are here sharing your brilliant writing with this community. Your reflections on the bumpy journey towards love are thoughtful, deep, and moving. These two lines stuck out to me. "We find love after we chase and follow with desperation only to discover that chasing isn't part of love" and "I think, is that, unlike most other things, to understand what love really is, we must first be broken by what it isn't." Keep slicing when you can. Your opening paragraph about dancing with your baby girl and having philosophical conversations with your teenager made me smile.
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